The crazy train...

I would rather watch paint dry than attempt Black Friday shopping again. 

After stuffing myself full of carbs I made the decision to go Black Friday shopping with G instead of taking my evening nap.

I should have known the moment I picked something over a nap it would not be a good decision.

I had never been Black Friday shopping.  I don't ever have anything specific that I would need to go out and battle for to get a great deal on.  

This year G was looking for Little J an iPad mini and I was struck with the stupid stick and though it would be fun to go along.

That shit was crazy.

Of course she picked the worst Walmart for starters, had no game plan or map of the store.

A bunch of buffoons were just loose all over the place piling their carts with $2 movies, $4 jammies and $3 balls of yarn while playing chicken with each other going in every direction.  

My anxiety set in and I was ready to go away.

10 mins later we made it out of there empty handed with no regrets of leaving the circus early.

I did however get to help Jingle the Elf make her debut this year.  Little J couldn't believe Jingle just popped back in like that or that she enjoyed vodka.

Happy Holidays!

My Reality.

Who doesn't love some quality trash TV?

We all have those favorite shows that just suck us in...most of the time mine are reality TV.

Some of my favorites....

Honey Boo Boo.

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

The Real Housewives...of every freaking city.

CatFish.

Teen Mom all the seasons.

Dance Moms.

Breaking Amish.

All these shows always make me wonder why hasn't anyone given me my own reality tv show?

Is it because I am too old for Teen Mom?  I don't eat enough cheetos for Honey Boo Boo?  I would never have neon wedding colors like a gypsy? I don't date strangers I meet online?

I'm not Amish and I'm not breaking from anything.

Then I realize my show would probably go something like this...

A lot of video of me sleeping, eating and sleeping and my weekly spray tan.

I feel like I would often be quoted saying things like "I could really use a nap right now." or "I'm hungry."  

Who wouldn't want to watch that? Move aside Abby Lee Miller I just know soon they will be knocking at my door with a camera crew.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...

Started my birthday off at work Friday, my wonderful co-workers decorated my desk and got me a $50 gift card.  

Saturday night we celebrated my birthday...I just can't hang like I use to.  I spent Sunday my actual birthday in bed. 

I had today off from work for my birthday and planned to spend it being productive you know, cleaning, maybe doing some crafting and working on my blog.  

Well not much of that actually happened.  I slept until noon, did some cleaning then discovered my vacuum might need a new belt because when I use it it starts to smell of burnt rubber.  I turned to facebook for a resolution to my problem and sure enough the experts reported a new belt is needed.  We shall see.  

Let's be honest the rest of the day was spent on the couch on Pinterest.

Pretty great day if you ask me.

Since it is Sunday.

It's Sunday Social...

1. Name 4 jobs you’ve had in your life.

Lifeguard, Nanny, Advertising Assistant, Client Specialist.

2. Name 4 movies you would watch over and over.

Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, ELF, PS I Love you, Gran Torino, Step Brothers

3. Name 4 places you have lived.

California, College dorms, Sorority house and the plantation.

4. Name 4 of your favorite foods.

Chicken Enchiladas, Shrimp Mezzaluna, Chicken Alfredo, Cajun food.

5. Name 4 things you always carry with you.

Purse, Wallet, Sunglasses and cell phone

6. Name 4 places you have been on vacation. 

Destin, DisneyLand, Las Vegas, and Branson.

Twenties girl problems.

An army of birds decided to fly over and crap all over my freshly washed car.

My favorite jeans are too tight lately.

My car hood ornament just snapped off and no one else cared.

I just want to eat my feelings and I have a lot of feelings.

I turn a year older this week.

I have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.

There is also a city full of guys and no one to date.

 

Things you might hear in your twenties...

Things you will hear in your twenties.  (especially if you are single and have graduated college)

"So do you just not want a boyfriend?"

"Do you even want to get married?"

"Ya know I was married with a kid when I was your age."

"Do you plan on making that a career?"

"Welcome to the real world sweetie!"

"So why are you still living with you parents?"

"You are no spring chicken anymore."


"Well you're big girl now."

Just can't do it...

Some things I just can't handle in life...

People who assume the worst and run to the doctor every time they sneeze. Biatch there is nothing wrong with you people sneeze.

People who don't like ranch with their pizza or don't like ranch at all. Like what exactly do you eat then?

Those super thick fuzzy PJ pants.  NO.  Might have something to do with my fear of getting too hot.

Using the dryer in place of ironing.

Slow drivers in the left hand lane.

Dirty dishes sitting in the sink for too long.

People who can't work out or go to the gym without posting about it on all social media outlets.  We get it you work out.

Constant selfies.  I notice you think you're really pretty. Cool stop with the selfies.

Thankful status updates in November.  I am all about thanking the good Lord above for all he has blessed me with BUT when every other month you are constantly complaining it's hard to take you serious.