An army of birds decided to fly over and crap all over my freshly washed car.
My favorite jeans are too tight lately.
My car hood ornament just snapped off and no one else cared.
I just want to eat my feelings and I have a lot of feelings.
I turn a year older this week.
I have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.
There is also a city full of guys and no one to date.