Mama C., S, and I have a little business that required us to travel 3 ½ hours away from home this weekend. This required us to depart from the Plantation at 7:00am Saturday morning. S and I are rather unpleasant when it comes to waking up early on any given day but this Saturday was particularly terrible. The three of us were stuck at a business function until 11 the night before which led to S and I getting our valuable sleep time cut from our normal 12 hours to 7. Not. Pretty.
As we mentioned before, Mama C can’t be on time to save her life. We were finally on the road, in the big red truck with our 200 pairs of jeans, at 7:30am.
My obsession with Jason Aldean and Luke Bryan is NO JOKE. So obviously, S and I had zero intentions of allowing the iPad to subject us to any other artist or genre for the entire trek. 2 ½ hours into our drive Mama C looks at me, and I Kid. You. Not., these words came from her mouth: “Umm…do you girls have any songs on that iPad that aren’t about cornfields or beer?” I had no words for her.
Who is this woman? Mama and Papa C have been married for 27 years. Papa C is as COWBOY as it gets. There is NOT ONE THING in this world that is more southern than this man. Their wedding song was a DAVID ALLAN COE song for goodness sake! Where does this woman get off complaining about songs involving cornfields or beer? On the way home later that night she had the audacity to ask me if Jason and Luke are the same person. I have never been more confused in my life.
So, I gave the lady who scolds me, and tries to wash my mouth out with soap for saying damn, EXACTLY what she asked for…Nicki Minaj, explicit version! You can guess who was begging for a song about cornfields and beer after that…